In the Vic and Sade series, a recurring feature is the host of townsfolk who try to sell Christmas cards to poor old, money concious Sade Gook.
In the show, the topic will come up as quickly in June as it does in the Christmas season. I guess it’s never a bad time to start pitching those cards, and make a little spending money. The thing with that Christmas card company is the wierd, horrible, yet funny greetings in them. Here’s a collected list of them.
- Give me a kiss, and make me feel fine. Merry Christmas 1939!
- Wash off that dirty neck of yours, and wipe away that sneer. I’m wishing you and your family a prosperous New Year.
- Give me a kiss o girl of mine, this is Christmas 1939.
- Give me a kiss for Christmas time joy, Santa is coming with candy and toys.
- Give me a kiss to remember you my dear, and don’t forget December 25th is full of holiday cheer.
- Give me a kiss and then go away, I’m listening for bells on Santa Claus’s sleigh.
- Give me a kiss before I get mad,
- Give me a hug o girl of mine, this is Christmas 1939.
- Give me a kiss while its snowing and sleeting, and accept this heartfelt wish of holiday greeting.
- Give me a kiss for Christmas time sake. If I don’t recieve presents, I’ll jump in the lake.
- Give me a kiss, or I’ll telephone the police. May the blessings of Christmas never cease.
- Merry Christmas you big old ox. What’s Santa Claus gonna put in your socks?
- If I had a face like yours, I’d go jump in the lake. Your Your brotherr’s a half wit, your uncle’s a fake.
- You’re not very pretty, and your not very smart. But I hope you enjoy the holiday season, and that comes from the heart.
- Slap me in the face with a wreath of holly. Give me a kiss, and let’s be jolly.
- The holiday season is full of fun. If you eat any more pudding, you’ll weigh a ton.
- Santa Claus’s reindeer have come over the hill. I think I’ll roast a turkey, and eat my fill.
- I look like a baboon, and I got no sense. When are you gonna pay me the two dollars you owe me for rent?
- During the Yuletide season, we eat lots of food and cranberry sauce, and take chances at getting fat. Get off my foot you son of a gun, or i’ll hit you on the head with this baseball bat.
This represents a partial list, and is transcribed from a couple audio clips found on the Crazy World of Vic and Sade. As Jimbo adds more, or I find them on my own, this list could grow.